You probably wouldn't understand my thinking unless you were my best friend or grew up inside my head but since a certain age I expected to at some point be the mother of twins. It runs in my family and my brother and I are in the generation that usually produces twins, as far as the pattern seems to have run. Tyler also has twins on his side of the family. I recall old family photos and twin sets of piercing blue eyes. But he and I did not produce twins naturally. We sure came close! But no (extra) cigar, hahaha.
We've both been struggling and praying to find a more specific direction in this adoption (and thanks to those of you who have been praying with us!) and I have personally been scouring the internet and grilling experienced acquaintances to glean whatever information I can, hoping to find that "spark" that might point us in the right direction.
Well, you've probably guessed where I'm going with this. With growing certainty (and today a sudden spike in certainty) we have felt that we are meant to adopt twins. Now, ya'll might be doubtin', but we're serious about all of this. It's like when you are doing a puzzle and you just can't find what you need; nothing works, but then BAM, one particular piece slips into place and suddenly you can see things a little more clearly. You're by no means, finished, but for a while you have hope, and feel you can keep going, that you're headed in the right direction. We feel we are headed in the right direction.
Lately I feel like God is trying to nudge us. "You can do this. Don't give up. I have something more for you yet." All the times between these little successes feel like hanging from a cliff by our fingertips.
We are not yet there with the money for our paperwork, but on the flip-side neither has our house sold. We now have a cut off date, however. If our house does not sell by October we will be taking it off the market and from that point we will focus solely on the adoption(s). Once that is settled and our new little additions are all settled, and once all the follow up visits are complete we can put our home back on the market at that time. We really don't have the moola to do more than one home study!
So while we wait and see about the house and work to raise the funds, we will also be on the look out and be needing prayer for guidance toward the right situation - the right birth mom and babies. Our hope is that not only will these babies be right for our family, but that we will be the best situation/family for them. Whoever this momma is, we hope to be prepared to accept her little blessings into our home to raise as our own in a way that benefits them and glorifies God.
There are so many details yet to fall into place - finances, getting Reese potty trained, (yikes) purchasing a larger, more accommodating vehicle... but we have a strangely calm confidence that it will ALL happen one way or another.
....Now our other "baby" is punching my side of the bed, demanding to be played with. Such is life with a chihuahua/basenji mix. Please, whoever reads this, keep our family in your prayers!
And I wonder... perhaps this was why those onsies I found came in a two pack, HAHA! Just kidding... sort of. : )
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Waiting Hard
Sometimes I wish I could hold a clock under God's nose and say "See? This is the human time we are operating in. Did you forget?" The audacity, I know....Yes, I'm totally a "Martha." Yes, I know God hasn't forgotten us.
I don't actually know how to wait on God's timing. I've just always moved right along and done what I could and things have happened when they happened. I've never had to wait long for results or meeting a goal or seeing some progress day by day for anything really. Maybe it's part of growing up in America. Whether we're waiting for a ride, waiting for our food, waiting for the results from a pregnancy test, waiting to get over a cold, there's usually activity close by that gives us some kind of indication of whats going on in the margins.
Right now I feel blind. This part of stepping out into the unknown has me figuratively wringing my hands. I'm afraid to do it wrong. I'm afraid it won't be enough.
I know that one of the major things I am meant to learn through all this is to be steady and keep strong each day - to keep the coals glowing. Every day is a new day and his mercies are new for every one of them. Perhaps I should take this season to learn and then teach my kids, in turn, how to gracefully work hard and wait hard.
I want it to happen faster. I want it to be simpler. But most adoptions just don't work that way. I don't think ours will be one of those rare exceptions. I know this child will be exceptional! But I also know the process won't be magic.
We are praying over two separate and different scenarios for the time being and we could really use the prayer from others for clarity and discernment. We won't give up.
Right now we know it will most likely be winter before we complete our home study. Until then we must raise the funds for those things that come before it as well as the home study itself. Paperwork, family profile, etc....
I am so tired right now. It's late. I'm not thinking too clearly. I want to know... how do I wait for God's timing? It's simple to say and a pain in the butt to actually comprehend and get used to. I'm still at the comprehending stage. How do I recognize God's timing when there seems to be nothing to time? It's probably a good thing I don't own a stop watch.... for the present this momma will pass the time by getting some sleep. ; )
I don't actually know how to wait on God's timing. I've just always moved right along and done what I could and things have happened when they happened. I've never had to wait long for results or meeting a goal or seeing some progress day by day for anything really. Maybe it's part of growing up in America. Whether we're waiting for a ride, waiting for our food, waiting for the results from a pregnancy test, waiting to get over a cold, there's usually activity close by that gives us some kind of indication of whats going on in the margins.
Right now I feel blind. This part of stepping out into the unknown has me figuratively wringing my hands. I'm afraid to do it wrong. I'm afraid it won't be enough.
I know that one of the major things I am meant to learn through all this is to be steady and keep strong each day - to keep the coals glowing. Every day is a new day and his mercies are new for every one of them. Perhaps I should take this season to learn and then teach my kids, in turn, how to gracefully work hard and wait hard.
I want it to happen faster. I want it to be simpler. But most adoptions just don't work that way. I don't think ours will be one of those rare exceptions. I know this child will be exceptional! But I also know the process won't be magic.
We are praying over two separate and different scenarios for the time being and we could really use the prayer from others for clarity and discernment. We won't give up.
Right now we know it will most likely be winter before we complete our home study. Until then we must raise the funds for those things that come before it as well as the home study itself. Paperwork, family profile, etc....
I am so tired right now. It's late. I'm not thinking too clearly. I want to know... how do I wait for God's timing? It's simple to say and a pain in the butt to actually comprehend and get used to. I'm still at the comprehending stage. How do I recognize God's timing when there seems to be nothing to time? It's probably a good thing I don't own a stop watch.... for the present this momma will pass the time by getting some sleep. ; )
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
I'm a Great Catch!
The other day my best friend invited me for some girl time and we went shopping at the Wee Cycle event that is held annually at our local fairgrounds. (This is where parents can bring gently used baby and kid items and resell them at a discounted price - toys, clothes, strollers, etc.) When she asked me to join her, the first thought through my mind was, "I only have a few dollars, but please Lord, let me find something for our future baby boy. A token, some kind of reminder that I can hold on to when things look bleak." I'm just that way. This baby may not even be conceived yet - we don't know God's timing - and I bet it's going to be a long time before we get to look into this baby's eyes, give him a name, snuggle him... I have to have something tangible to keep me going.
Looking around, I noticed the newborn items and wandered over. I immediately spotted it - a "never worn" set of boy body suits, one of which had a catcher's mitt and the words "I'm a great catch" embroidered on it. I knew this was what I was looking for. Once I was home I couldn't resist taking the tags off and just snuggling it for a moment, imagining the day our little one will fill it out and rest in our arms. I did the same thing while I was pregnant with the girls and Bubba too. With Emmy it was a purple onesie with a butterfly, with Alayna it was pink sleeper with hearts all over it - I can remember standing in her room and the very moment when I could imagine her in it, all squirmy and sweet - and with Reese it was a blue sleeper with little monkeys. So I suppose I'm carrying on the tradition in a way...
It feels like this process will be so very long and because of that, difficult for me. (Tyler is better at waiting than I am.) So many things are uncertain with an adoption: you can't see things develop the same way that you can when your own body grows and you know that one day you will just pop and here he is!
So far we have received one donation, (still planning fundraisers) and we did a little happy dance in that moment (okay, I did a happy dance.) Then the next evening we took a moment, just Ty and myself to ceremoniously stick that bill into an old baby wipe box labeled "little brother." (This title is for the kids' benefit, to remind them that they can contribute too in their own way. If they find a coin on the street or if they choose to use a dollar of their own money at some point we want to encourage them. They don't have to, but we want them to know they are a big part of this too.) It was a very quiet moment and even in it's simplicity and lack of all grandeur it felt so significant. Tyler and I looked at each other and he nodded and said, "It's a start."
Day by day, I know that little bits will be added and our hope is that, as I read from another adoptive moms blog, we will learn to praise God on the days when we gain something and praise him the same on the days when we see no progress at all. I am already starting to see that God has a lot of growing up in store for me, personally. I'll probably fight it, kicking and screaming at least some of the time but I hope to ultimately become more and more of the person, the parent, the woman God intends me to be. We all hope to grow and become ready to receive this blessing into our home.
I grow a little jealous each time I see a set of parents holding their newly adopted baby on the site of the group we have chosen to work with but then I remember that there's an inspiration behind that twinge of jealousy and focus on the why instead of the emotion itself (which is clearly unproductive). I have resolved to remember that we have been given a passion for this, that some day it will be our turn and we have SO much work to do in the mean time so it's okay. God is working, his plans were started long, long ago. The tapestry is no where near complete but it is already beautiful, and however it all works out, whoever this child is that we are being prepared for, he's most assuredly going to be a "Great Catch!" : )
Looking around, I noticed the newborn items and wandered over. I immediately spotted it - a "never worn" set of boy body suits, one of which had a catcher's mitt and the words "I'm a great catch" embroidered on it. I knew this was what I was looking for. Once I was home I couldn't resist taking the tags off and just snuggling it for a moment, imagining the day our little one will fill it out and rest in our arms. I did the same thing while I was pregnant with the girls and Bubba too. With Emmy it was a purple onesie with a butterfly, with Alayna it was pink sleeper with hearts all over it - I can remember standing in her room and the very moment when I could imagine her in it, all squirmy and sweet - and with Reese it was a blue sleeper with little monkeys. So I suppose I'm carrying on the tradition in a way...
It feels like this process will be so very long and because of that, difficult for me. (Tyler is better at waiting than I am.) So many things are uncertain with an adoption: you can't see things develop the same way that you can when your own body grows and you know that one day you will just pop and here he is!
So far we have received one donation, (still planning fundraisers) and we did a little happy dance in that moment (okay, I did a happy dance.) Then the next evening we took a moment, just Ty and myself to ceremoniously stick that bill into an old baby wipe box labeled "little brother." (This title is for the kids' benefit, to remind them that they can contribute too in their own way. If they find a coin on the street or if they choose to use a dollar of their own money at some point we want to encourage them. They don't have to, but we want them to know they are a big part of this too.) It was a very quiet moment and even in it's simplicity and lack of all grandeur it felt so significant. Tyler and I looked at each other and he nodded and said, "It's a start."
Day by day, I know that little bits will be added and our hope is that, as I read from another adoptive moms blog, we will learn to praise God on the days when we gain something and praise him the same on the days when we see no progress at all. I am already starting to see that God has a lot of growing up in store for me, personally. I'll probably fight it, kicking and screaming at least some of the time but I hope to ultimately become more and more of the person, the parent, the woman God intends me to be. We all hope to grow and become ready to receive this blessing into our home.
I grow a little jealous each time I see a set of parents holding their newly adopted baby on the site of the group we have chosen to work with but then I remember that there's an inspiration behind that twinge of jealousy and focus on the why instead of the emotion itself (which is clearly unproductive). I have resolved to remember that we have been given a passion for this, that some day it will be our turn and we have SO much work to do in the mean time so it's okay. God is working, his plans were started long, long ago. The tapestry is no where near complete but it is already beautiful, and however it all works out, whoever this child is that we are being prepared for, he's most assuredly going to be a "Great Catch!" : )
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Hi, we're the Hoyt family! My name is Shannon, my hubby's name is Tyler. We've been married for 6 years and have 3 awesome kiddos - Emmy 4, Alayna 3, and Reese 2. When Tyler and I started dating the subject of adoption came up a few times and when it did we were pretty clear on the subject. We both felt that we were meant to be parents of both natural and adopted babies/kids, God willing. The calling was there.
We got married in October of 2006 and about 6 months later miscarried our first baby. I was devastated. But we learned a lot during that time about letting go and trusting in God's goodness. A few months later, on new years day we discovered I was pregnant again and this time I delivered a sweet baby girl when September rolled around. After that we were both hooked on being parents. Sure, a mom and dad need a sanity break here and there and we try to keep all aspects of our family healthy, especially our individual relationships with God and our marriage but seriously, BABIES! KIDS! They can be so challenging but we both believe that there is little else in this world as worth while as loving a little one and growing their roots and wings.
Fast forward two years more and you would see me recovering from a c-section from our boy Reese-man. His sisters Emmy and Nay both immediately loved him with no reservations. That's just how they are.... And then came- the vasectomy. This probably sounds ridiculous but I think it hurt me more than it hurt him. Not like that. But to say good bye to my productive days at the age of 25 kind of stings! What I had to hold on to was that we were doing it for a reason. We did it for the next baby who we knew would not be coming from our own bodies but who already had/has a place in our hearts.
I think that same week we started talking with the girls about adoption and explaining how we would do that someday. Believe it or not, there has been comprehension in their eyes anytime we have spoken with them about it. They ask questions and really seem to understand that "that's just what our family is meant to do." It seems that God has been preparing all of our hearts for this child that will soon enter our family. Even Reese (Bubba) who is only two years old has an understanding of adoption and love and is excited to meet his little brother and become a big brother himself.
At this point we are all EXCITED about this, our first adoption! And it is go time! God has recently shown us that it is time to get moving, start bringing in the funds, and rolling with the adoption gauntlet that must inevitably be run to get to this sweet munchkin at the end.
So there's some history on us. Just a smidge.
I will be setting up a donate button in the next few days where anyone who feels led to help us bring baby Hoyt home is welcome to do so, be it $0.50 or $500! Every little bit gets us closer to meeting this little man God has waiting for us, every day is one day closer, in both the lean and the plenty. God is moving.
Check back here for future updates to find out whats going on and hear about our progress. One day soon we pray we can post a picture of baby Hoyt # FOUR!
We got married in October of 2006 and about 6 months later miscarried our first baby. I was devastated. But we learned a lot during that time about letting go and trusting in God's goodness. A few months later, on new years day we discovered I was pregnant again and this time I delivered a sweet baby girl when September rolled around. After that we were both hooked on being parents. Sure, a mom and dad need a sanity break here and there and we try to keep all aspects of our family healthy, especially our individual relationships with God and our marriage but seriously, BABIES! KIDS! They can be so challenging but we both believe that there is little else in this world as worth while as loving a little one and growing their roots and wings.
Fast forward two years more and you would see me recovering from a c-section from our boy Reese-man. His sisters Emmy and Nay both immediately loved him with no reservations. That's just how they are.... And then came- the vasectomy. This probably sounds ridiculous but I think it hurt me more than it hurt him. Not like that. But to say good bye to my productive days at the age of 25 kind of stings! What I had to hold on to was that we were doing it for a reason. We did it for the next baby who we knew would not be coming from our own bodies but who already had/has a place in our hearts.
I think that same week we started talking with the girls about adoption and explaining how we would do that someday. Believe it or not, there has been comprehension in their eyes anytime we have spoken with them about it. They ask questions and really seem to understand that "that's just what our family is meant to do." It seems that God has been preparing all of our hearts for this child that will soon enter our family. Even Reese (Bubba) who is only two years old has an understanding of adoption and love and is excited to meet his little brother and become a big brother himself.
At this point we are all EXCITED about this, our first adoption! And it is go time! God has recently shown us that it is time to get moving, start bringing in the funds, and rolling with the adoption gauntlet that must inevitably be run to get to this sweet munchkin at the end.
So there's some history on us. Just a smidge.
I will be setting up a donate button in the next few days where anyone who feels led to help us bring baby Hoyt home is welcome to do so, be it $0.50 or $500! Every little bit gets us closer to meeting this little man God has waiting for us, every day is one day closer, in both the lean and the plenty. God is moving.
Check back here for future updates to find out whats going on and hear about our progress. One day soon we pray we can post a picture of baby Hoyt # FOUR!
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